Drooling Idiots Gallery

Drooling Idiots is a disjointed confederation of musicians where an absence of talent poses no impediment to membership. D.I. was formed in 1992 at 1317 Packard in Ann Arbor, Michigan. The founding members were D.I. Prime, Grindef and Charlé. They remain the founding members to this day. However, Drooling Idiots has recently undertaken a legal crusade to arrogate The Beatles' history. We feel that Drooling Idiots would enjoy greater success if we had the, empirically more compelling, back story of four lower-class Liverpudlians who overcame adversity and catapulted themselves to international fame, unimaginable wealth and near-universal adulation.

The Prime

Name: D.I. Prime
Status: Active
D.I. Duties: Co-founder, Rapper, Singer, Recordist, Doyen
Birthday: Scorpio. You don't need to know more.
Bio: He can hardly play an instrument. He can barely sing. He doesn't have the rhythmic instincts to rap. Yet, he has a home recording studio and he isn't afraid to use it. There, unfettered by such inhibiting factors as ability or taste, D.I. Prime churns out slop which could be described (using the term very loosely) as "music". When the other members of Drooling Idiots aren't around Prime claims that Drooling Idiots is his band and that he is their leader. That's what happens when you put 50psi in a 10psi ego.
Disclaimer: Every word in this bio is real but D.I. Prime is a work of fiction.

The Present

Name: Tubley
Status: Active
D.I. Duties: Skins Smasher
Birthday: March 9 (Pisces)
Bio: Tubley is a congenital drooling idiot but only a recent inductee into Drooling Idiots. Although he is D.I. Prime's younger brother, you may rest assured that his honored position as D.I.'s drummer owes nothing to nepotism. (D.I. Legal considered going after the story of John & Robert Kennedy but decided to pursue The Beatles' story instead.) Tubley went through the same rigorous and grueling audition process as everyone else. In the end, the muscled, sinistral beatmeister prevailed over the competition (owing to his superior genetic stock, no doubt).
Note: Pronounce it "TOOB-lee" and, yes, we know it should be spelled Tubely. (Or, had he been born into the Shakur family, 2bly)

The Past

Name: Michael Spaly
Status: Inactive
D.I. Duties: Axe Assaulter, Violin Violator, Mandolin Marauder, Vocalicious Vociferator
Birthday: September 20 (Virgo)
Bio: If you're wondering how someone so talented wound up in Drooling Idiots, you're not alone. We aren't sure either. This guy should be a solo act and not waste his time with this ragtag outfit. Still, since this prodigy voluntarily stepped into the D.I. quagmire, it would be unconscionable not to exploit him for every iota of musical talent he can muster. After we leech all of his creativity and leave him a depauperated, musically dessicated shell of his former self, we'll cast him aside and live large on the royalties of the music we stole from him.

The Parents

Name: Charlé
Status: Inactive
D.I. Duties: Co-founder, Guitarorrist
Birthday: April 20 (Taurus)
Bio: Charlé is the oldest member of Drooling Idiots. During his short and undistinguished subset of Drooling Idiots' long and undistinguished history, he slang a six-strang and strummed some drang. He lapsed into inactivity well before Drooling Idiots' meteoric rise to sub-mediocrity. These days he bides his time in Seattle plotting out which scandalous, ruinous, dirty D.I. laundry to air when he gets his fifteen seconds of fame on an upcoming episode of "Behind The Music".

Name: Grindef
Status: Inactive
D.I. Duties: Co-founder, Guitar & Featherist, Screamer
Birthday: April 18 (Aries)
Bio: Grindef was in the first class to matriculate into D.I. U. Unfortunately, the rigors of inactivity proved nigh unbearable and the years without touring, recording or even rehearsing were too onerous a burden for his fragile constitution. He put down his electric, picked up a classical and retreated to the frigid Tibetan mountains where he thrives in the solitude of monastery cemeteries playing nightly to rapt audiences.

"Salivamus, ergo sumus."
-Drooling Idiots' motto