Other Places

Going so soon? Are you positive you've pondered Prime's pronouncements with proper prudence? Wouldn't you like to linger a little longer lest lachrymose longings lay siege to your psyche? No? Ok, have it your way. Go visit those other sites. See if I care.

No, really, it's ok. That's why this page is here, after all. I won't get teed off if you hit the links. (Sorry, bad golf joke. I tried to serve some tennis tomfoolery but it got stuck in the 'net. Ugh. I'll stop now...)

The following sites have the D.I. Prime stamp of approval. Either Prime surfs these sites himself or he's whored out his stamp-of-approval for monetary remuneration, tawdry sexual favors, or cross-listing in their links section.

Self-promotion

After three years of dormancy, The Prime Says has finally made its trimphant return to the net. Instead of being hosted here, it has moved to Google's Blogger service. You no longer have to suffer through my blather in silence; you can post replies and give me a piece of your mind.

In a further concession to current fads, I've also established a MySpace page. If the mountain won't come to Mohammed, I'll find a metaphor that won't get me blown up by irate, fundamentalist extremists.

I wrote a book called "Anal Sex Haiku, Lascivious Limericks & Other Drivel". If you click on the link, you'll be taken to the web site (lulu.com) where you can read a preview and, if you have a deep and abiding love for obscene poetry and $12 burning a hole in your pocket, buy a copy. Or, you could try contacting me for a signed copy.

Bandmates

Michael Spaly's site has several non-Drooling Idiots mp3s featuring his excellent guitar playing. He also writes, plays violin & mandolin, and sings. His solo stuff is folkier than anything you're ever likely to hear from Drooling Idiots but well worth a listen nonetheless.

Collaborators

1108 Thugz were Ann Arbor's premier purveyors of pornographic rap. These former mp3.com all-stars have fallen so far from their chart-topping glory days that they had to collaborate with D.I. Prime to resuscitate their flagging career. Pathetic, eh? If you have a healthy tolerance for non-politically correct ribaldry, thuggish gangsta rap and obscenity (with just enough Supreme Court mandated artistry to bolster its social importance enough to prevent it from appealing solely to prurient interests), then 1108 Thugz may be right up your alley. They don't have a web presence at the moment, but Busta Pelvis has moved on to other projects.

Buddies

Those of you who read The Prime Says back in the day already know of the lovely and talented Sue Blair. Sue has a web site devoted to her poetry, short stories and film reviews. My favorite is the short story "The Cat Out Of The Bag". You can also see how you stack up against her stringent suitor requirements. Another cool thing about her site is that there's a link to droolingidiots.com. She was the first person to link here.

Do you believe in UFOs? I didn't for most of my life. Then I saw his face. Now I'm a believer. There's not a trace of doubt in my mind. U.F.O. is Unidentified Funky Object, one of the funkiest bass players in the greater Ann Arbor area. Make sure you check out "Josh Pollack's Got The Funk", the finest track to emanate from UFO's Brown Bear Studios to date. It's out of this world. (Truth be told, UFO and D.I. Prime go way back. Prime knew UFO when he was the strictly terrestrial "Get Fresh Packy K".)

Has Prime ever told you about his grandkid? No? Lucky you. Nominate him for the "Least Annoying Grandparent Of The Year" award. Those of you who know Prime might be wondering how he managed to acquire a grandchild without having children first. Simple. Ben Poe is the e-grandkid Prime adopted on the Internet about 10 years ago. As long as Prime sends Ben an e-mail on his birthday every year, Prime remains an e-grandparent in good standing. Recently, Prime was made aware of his grandson's web site so now he has to brag about it to all of his friends in the retirement community, or at least to the poor saps who read this page.

Humor

Do you like to laugh? Don't answer. It was a rhetorical question. Obviously you do. Why else would you be at the Drooling Idiots web site? For the music? Ha! Now I'm laughing. If your tastes run toward the jocose, you may appreciate some of the following sites.

First, surf over to The Michigan Every Three Weekly. This is the University of Michigan publication that publishes jokes, as opposed to the University of Michigan publication that is a joke (cf. The Michigan Daily). It's a lot like The Onion, but not published as frequently. Both provide a satirical look at the news. Speaking of The Onion, check out D.I. Prime's favorite Onion article and get down with your bad self.

After you're finished there, check out three of D.I. Prime's favorite comic strips Dilbert, The Boondocks and This Modern World. If you're a political junkie, you may enjoy The Capitol Steps. They offer song parodies with political themes and post one, usually topical, mp3 a week. Lastly, the rec.humor.funny newsgroup is one of the finest sources of risible material on the Internet. If you don't read USENET news check out the archives at the web site.