The Prime Says

We're 5 days into November and well into Scorpio territory - the most glorious time of year. Step outside and you'll be immersed in the cold pall of death. Trees wither in front of your eyes as their leaves dessicate and fall. Squirrels scurry about, scavenging final morsels before their long sleep. Birds flee from the impending wintry scourge. The days increasingly smother us in a tenebrous blanket. You can't help but feel the ineluctable lure of our final destination.

But that's not a bad thing. That's a good thing - just ask DDP. Scorpios don't revere death from pathological morbidity. We recognize that death is part of nature's cycle of destruction and rebirth. What withers in autumn blooms in spring. Without death we couldn't appreciate life. We relish the perspective.

Besides, all this cold weather is an ideal excuse to spend extra time in bed engaging in the other Scorpio obsession. From death to sex. From sex to life. From life to death. So it goes.

On November 3rd, the mighty, mighty Michigan Wolverines fell in ignominious defeat to the accursed michigan state spartans. If you want a detailed description of the infamous manner in which those blackguards arrogated victory you'll have to go elsewhere. However, as Jesse "The Body" Ventura, the Governor of the great state of Minnesota, used to say: "It's not how you play the game, it's whether you win or lose." The gruesome green prevailed that day and that's what counts. I congratulate them on doing whatever it took to secure victory. I respect that.

I hope they enjoy their year of bragging rights. Like the Phoenix, the Wolverines will rise from the ashes and crush them next year. Death and rebirth. In all things, death and rebirth.

This is also the time of year for the Rocky Horror Picture Show to return to theaters. RHPS came to the State Theater in Ann Arbor on October 26-28 where Dynamic Tension put on a fine show. I was in the house for two of their three shows and took the opportunitiy to be as loud and obnoxious as possible. On November 2-3, Rocky Horror played at the historic Michigan Theater in Jackson. In addition to the usual litany of audience participation call-back lines I hurl at the screen, I had the opportunity to play Dr. Frank N. Furter (briefly on Friday) and Brad Majors (Saturday) in the ad hoc cast. My thanks to Dan, Phil, Shaun and Christy for talking (bullying, browbeating, inveigling, physically dragging...) me into it. I'd especially like to thank Stacia (Janet Weiss) for coaching me through the ordeal. Now that I've tried it I can validate my heretofore hypothetical supposition that I prefer the more anonymous role of participating from the crowd.

If you've never seen Rocky Horror in the theater, you definitely need to check it out. Keep your eyes glued to The Prime Says for news about upcoming Rocky events.

A few days ago I witnessed the most beautifully cynical commercial that I have ever had the pleasure of viewing. Truly, the capitalist free-enterprise system is the most efficient way to turn a national tragedy, such as the 9/11 terrorist attacks, into crass commercial cash cows. I wish I had the spot on tape so that I could digitize it and share it with you. You'll have to settle for my paraphrasing. The commercial begins like this: "Now, more than ever, it's important to let your loved one know how you feel about them...". Ok, no problem so far. It starts with a tastefully oblique reference to the recent turmoil and follows with a benign admonition regarding the importance of appreciating your loved ones. This is public service "feel good" material so far. The commercial continues: "...and nothing says `I love you' like a diamond."

Diamonds. Your most important concern in these times of strum and drang is shopping for jewelry. Don't donate money to relief efforts. Don't save for the proverbial rainy day when there's a recession on the horizon. Don't buy extra life insurance to provide for your loved ones. Don't buy more energy efficient or alternate-energy appliances and vehicles to reduce our national dependence on oil. Buy jewelry.

Finally, as you may recall from the previous edition of The Prime Says, this site was launched on William "Bootsy" Collins's 50th birthday. Since that august event, which augured the kairos of www.droolingidiots.com, Bootsy got a name check in the October 30th edition of Aaron McGruder's The Boondocks. For those of you who prefer to confine your web surfing to www.droolingidiots.com, the strip can also be found in our comic gallery.

One,
D.I. Prime
Friday, November 5, 2001